charlene goes on and on.

When i wake up i usually have a moment with my self, i call it 'station time'. I make sure ill have couple of minutes each day to spend with my self for some self checking and realizations. I dont talk to my self neither murmur words (ang weird naman nun) i just think about some dealings in my life, how did i or i should do about those, and lessons learned. The break up with an ex boyfriend was the recent big thing that blown me away. It made my life miserable at first with that extreme pain i've experienced. But i really thank God for enlightening me and for giving me an open mind as well. He also gave me great friends and family that helped me a lot to recover. I told my self that after the pain i know i'll be a better Charlene. I just have to go through all of those. I forgave them but i am not a sham to forget everything. Everything is clear to me now, good thing God made me intelligent enough that even my exboyfriend did not explain anything to me, im still wise enough to understand. :) As Usher says: "Why do you make some things so easy so complicated?"  haha so i just process everything plain and simple. He's not just that into me now, he fell in love with melai and got her pregnant. That's it. I also realized that even i had been committed for six years i can still live on my own, independent as i can be. Six years of love is still not comparable to my 20 years of existence and life full of love with my parents. Dad and mom did everything to make me feel ok despite that long years of betrayal. My sisters are there for me too. Im lucky to have great friends. My bestfriend Kath phoned me almost everyday. Van showed endless support as well. I also stayed with Bekah for almost a week. What happened to me i think brought us (housemates) closer. We spend most of our time together when we have no classes. There were times i feel excited going back to our apartment every after class to have another chitchat times with them. Camille and Yana never let me be alone especially during dinner times. I either spend leisure hours with Camille and Red or with Yana and Dan. I feel so good when im with them. We started hanging out, Paseo de sta. rosa getaways to satisfy our Sbucks coffee cravings (there was a time we went there even its already 1130 pm), tudings and BK, isaw meriendas, unforgettable dinner escapades, atc bonding and movietimes :) i did not see my self before missing los banos this much. I miss my housemates and our tight hugs! I miss elbi! Raem is right, lahat ng tao nakakamove on. I feel good, a lot better now. I like the way i have composed my self and very much delighted to see what's out there for me :) Theres more to life nga sabi nila. Hehe im excited to enter med school and build my career! This time for my own-sake not thinking about future goals with him blah blah. This time it's me, for me. I feel totally free especially free from all burdens he caused me. Not to mention im also excited to know my Mr. Right, which is waaaaay better, haha i know right because God loves me :).

im on twitter now :)

Me and my sisters were supposed to go on a date with Daddy at Eastwood. It was planned then suddenly his friend came to our house inviting him to a birthday party. Di na tuloy kami tumuloy so i watched Grey's again :(.

Kath phoned me a while ago just to say hi and kmusta :) i love my friend kath so much. We're friends since first grade, tried and tested na nga :) She never failed to call me, thrice a week landline phone pa ang gamit. We'll go to our school (hs) on friday yey!

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Maybe we like the pain. Maybe we're wired that way. Because without it, I don't know; maybe we just wouldn't feel real. What's that saying? Why do I keep hitting myself with a hammer? Because it feels so good when I stop.

"At some point, you have to make a decision. Boundaries don't keep other people out. They fence you in. Life is messy. That's how we're made. So, you can waste your lives drawing lines. Or you can live your life crossing them. But there are some lines... that are way too dangerous to cross."

i feel asleep last night so early that's why i wasn't able to write something for that day. so what happened to me yesterday? it's all about grey's thing! super kinikilig ako. basta. :)). Im being unhealthy again lately. i ate a bunch of Lucky Me mac&cheese and i know it'll not do me anything good. i need to go back to eating veggies. i missed the greens, and the tea too :). That's all for now, a new day again for me to live haha! Good morning!

five months passed since the last time i posted here in blogspot. oh well, im reviving this page. may last post was still about the heartflick lovestory of me and alvin. After five months, how are we now? Happy. Happy with our own separate lives. Yes we broke up a couple of months ago, it was quite hard and took me sometime to recover. But hey this is me now! Moved on and changed a lot. Thank God He gave me great friends! My housegirlfriends are really amazing..! 

So there id be keeping my blogspot now :)

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My day? Grey's Anatomy session again. I had bonding time with Dad and i accompanied him to go to Hall of Justice @ Quezon City Hall. Back at home, eat eat again with my sisters, watched Grey's again, chatted with mom, facebook, sent sweet nothings to my crushable and reminisce last few hours with crushable :)). Allen already posted the pictures of our cell bio class' sem ender! yipee! im just waiting for more pictures from polly and ill be posting those pics too in my facebook account. i miss my crush, J.

Our only security is our ability to change.  

~John Lilly